that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
