I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
