im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
