we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
