I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can I color on your dick again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh god it's open bar.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
