So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The adults are the big ones right?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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