omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
