I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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