i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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