so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it glows. i had to have it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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