Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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