Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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