i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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