I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
