careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
