How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The air was thick with penises
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
