I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
