she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize