very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
