I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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