Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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