You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize