i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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