So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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