i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
