My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
