Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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