I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
