I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
