Just cropdusted the office
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize