He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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