are you still at the devil's house?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
