Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
