The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
