I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
