no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize