Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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