She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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