??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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