sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
