your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
