doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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