Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
