I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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