Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
