Whod you bang
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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