Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Houston, we have a squirter

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...

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(903): View more from Texas

His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.

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