I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
