this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
