haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
