I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
