You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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