I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
