So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
