Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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