i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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