I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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