k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
