My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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