You're so nebulous sometimes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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