And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize