last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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