I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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