i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
