I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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