This is the prime rib incident all over again
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
