I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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