So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
