The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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